Friday, September 25, 2009
stuffness
It's raining outside and I want to listen to Mojave 3 and write prose poems about the seasons. I think there is a homegame this weekend which means another day of drunk 50 year olds parading around campustown in "CHIEF" memorabilia while dry-humping the corpse of their dead racist mascot. This is a good reason to leave town and drive through a windfarm. I could be wrong. In fact I am wrong: the Illini are at Ohio State on Saturday. Here is a picture of OSU after their inevitable victory:
Hell yeah dudes you are a bunch of motherfucking champions. It looks someone's girlfriend is getting fingered behind the grocery store tonight. On next week's schedule is a thrilling Big Ten contest between the University of Illinois Fightin' Illini and the New Providence New Jersey Falcons, coached by a really large log of soppressata and a hot dog that was deep fried.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Attn Urbana/Champaign:
Good work making me fucking nauseous by playing the star spangled banner over the bells at 1PM. And good work to whatever idiot it was who planted 2997 American flags in the quad. As if being reduced to meat weren't enough, I'm sure the entirety of the victims love being reduced even further to symbols. Have fun with metonymy you cornfed assholes; I'll be blowing you kisses while I ride the atom bomb out of the chute.
http://gawker.com/5357371/happy-first-post%20911-911
http://gawker.com/5357371/happy-first-post%20911-911
Friday, September 4, 2009
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