Friday, September 25, 2009

stuffness



It's raining outside and I want to listen to Mojave 3 and write prose poems about the seasons. I think there is a homegame this weekend which means another day of drunk 50 year olds parading around campustown in "CHIEF" memorabilia while dry-humping the corpse of their dead racist mascot. This is a good reason to leave town and drive through a windfarm. I could be wrong. In fact I am wrong: the Illini are at Ohio State on Saturday. Here is a picture of OSU after their inevitable victory:



Hell yeah dudes you are a bunch of motherfucking champions. It looks someone's girlfriend is getting fingered behind the grocery store tonight. On next week's schedule is a thrilling Big Ten contest between the University of Illinois Fightin' Illini and the New Providence New Jersey Falcons, coached by a really large log of soppressata and a hot dog that was deep fried.

untitled



Friday, September 11, 2009

Attn Urbana/Champaign:

Good work making me fucking nauseous by playing the star spangled banner over the bells at 1PM. And good work to whatever idiot it was who planted 2997 American flags in the quad. As if being reduced to meat weren't enough, I'm sure the entirety of the victims love being reduced even further to symbols. Have fun with metonymy you cornfed assholes; I'll be blowing you kisses while I ride the atom bomb out of the chute.

http://gawker.com/5357371/happy-first-post%20911-911

Friday, September 4, 2009

Hey guys my favorite band is Queensryche

My favorite band is Queensryche.

8:37 AM

beep beep honk beep beep beep honk honk beep beeeeeeeeep

Yo guys

I am the pilot of the moon, I am worth my weight in chicken nuggets