On Election Night 2004

I had a short story due for a class on the next day, and I stopped progress to check the YahooNews electoral map and watch state by state any hope for the future be shot in the fucking face. It sucked, and that story ended up sucking. It was about a dude with no hands who thought he was Eddie Van Halen. Those were some strange times in my life I suppose.

It was 1:30 when I had a completed draft, and my walk home took me past the bar in which the College Republicans were celebrating. They were screaming, shouting, shooting off air horns, and I took a seat on the curb. I was too broke to afford cigarettes, so I paid a homeless man the change in my pocket in order to score an Old Gold Ultra Light. He said "sucks, don't it," and walked away and I took a seat on the curb and smoked hard.

These two kids wearing fleece sweatervests ran towards me from around the corner, and over the shouts of the drunk Republicans they started screaming "FUCK THE BUSH GIRLS." They pull out two crude, homemade dolls with buttons for eyes and yarn hair. "These are the Bush twins," they yell. And they throw the dolls on the ground, right in front of the Jimmy John's, and pee on them.

After hearing Obama had clinched Ohio and Florida I went home, drank a fifth of 8% beer and blasted some Impressions records and danced alone. It felt good. Then I remembered those republicans, and that shitty Old Gold Ultra Light, and I went to a bar to find some friends and John McCain giving a concession speech on the television. People in the bar were politely clapping to the televised McCain. I was yelling, "Hey where are the college republicans." I told television John McCain that he could talk all he wants to crowds of crying white people but he had lost, so fuck him. I wanted to start a fight with the college republicans. I'm not in college anymore but whatever.

Today my coworker told me it is bad to gloat. But I found the bar they were at. They were upstairs at the Airliner. I ran to the top of the steps, started clapping, and asked everyone why they were so quiet. I asked them how they were feeling and they called me a prick. I asked again and again they called me a prick. I yelled "Go Obama" and they called me a prick. I was gonna say "Hey what's up white people" but then I noticed one Asian guy.