I'm sick (fuck you)

A coworker of mine testified in court the other day against this guy. Apparently he was also on trial for stealing a Children's Miracle Network box from a countertop.

What this has to do with anything I know not, but what I do know is that tomorrow is Brewnost, a charity event which involves me pouring beer for the gentry of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. And being hit on by the bored wives of Cedar Rapids industrialists. Last year, when conversing with this crow-footed yet glamorous volunteer, it came out in conversation that I was Jewish, to which she responded "My ex-husband told me I could become Jewish via injection." I wanted to make some joke about Jewish doctors but was too stunned.

Not too many Jews in Eastern Iowa. I have been at least half a dozen peoples' "first Jew." One of those people was a girl from some four-corners town in Northern Iowa. When I told her I was a part of the tribe she screamed, hugged me, and shouted I was her "first Jew." She said that her father said there would be Jews in Iowa City, and that "they all had big noses and drove really nice cars," but I didn't have a big nose and "that was like so weird." Then I told her I drove a Ford Windstar.