The doctors'

The doctor's office was in a postwar brick turd on the corner of Jefferson and Governor. They were called "Medical Associates" and were wholly friendly and midwestern and the receptionist talked like Sarah Palin. I went home sick today for the first time in about two years.

I haven't been to a doctor's office for a long time because I haven't had insurance for a long time. Or rather I did have insurance, but it was Aetna, so in other words I had no health insurance since Aetna doesn't cover shit in Iowa. I would need to drive to Ohio in order to see a physician.

The last time I had extended run-ins with doctors was during my hernia surgery period of 2002. I like to refer to it as a "phase." The hernia phase. About a week after surgery I went the doctor's office. The stitches on the wound had dissolved, but the surgeon needed to check on the wound, which at this point was swollen and oozing brown stuff. It was covered by a transparent adhesive bandage. When I walked into the office the doctor told me to drop my pants and remove the bandage. I was peeling it off slowly. He got impatient, slapped my hand away, and ripped it off. RRRRIIIPPP. The wound swelled more. Than he shoved a large syringe into the wound, and extracted about a half cup of brown ooze from my surgery scar. From the table he shot the syringe's brown contents about 6 feet away, straight into the sink like a stream of brown viscous urine. The whole time he was yelling "looks like we struck gold." Apparently it's normal to swell up with brown stuff after a hernia operation. I also had an oxycontin prescription.