I went to a movie theatre tonight.

It was called "Nobel Son," and the main character looked a lot like my junior year English teacher, Mr. Goldstein. Mr. Goldstein's dad won the Nobel Prize so then this other dude kidnapped Mr. Goldstein. And then oh yeah Mr. Goldstein is a PhD student studying cannibalism. In the end of the movie he is on a beach and he is a millionaire. He walks by some babes and the movie's monologue, which he narrates, says "I just finished my thesis" and then he nods at some babes, one of whom is wearing a camo thong. This movie also features Bill Pullman and I can't look at Bill Pullman without thinking of Independence Day, so when he starts talking seductively to the female protagonist (i.e., Mr. Goldstein's mom) about how good he is at making scrambled eggs, I got this monologue conflated with "Today is your independence day" and I started laughing out loud, thus deflating the romantic tension for everyone else in the theatre.